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Cake day: June 9th, 2026

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  • Maybe as he loses support, Vance will resign ‘in disgust’ and the congress will finally impeach him. American Speaker of the House, Mike Johnson, becomes President Johnson for 15 minutes. The Republicans try to ride the wave of righteous anger to get the ‘moral’ Americans to support a return to ‘wholesome values,’ saying Trump ‘swindled the Republican party just like he did America.’ Trump dies awaiting a court date. He’s old, so no one calls foul play. Vance riles up the same anti-whatever-you-think-is-bad sentiment, but not as well, and is supported by AI billionaires who use their GPUs, left idle because they only have three customers willing to pay what it costs to run them, to pump out pro-Vance and ‘anti-woke’ propaganda. He tries to become President Vance. He hopes for two terms because he resigned before he could be succeeded into the presidency. The democratic party rolls out Joe Biden in an iron lung to run again. America looks at the options and organises the biggest mass shooting in history, in the form of an enormous mass suicide. The survivors blame the dead and vote for Biden ‘to teach the Republican Party a lesson.’ Nothing changes.








  • That’s less a lie and more ‘teaching the ideal.’ The problem isn’t learning how the system is supposed to work. That’s how you learn to be a mechanic. You learn how an engine is supposed to work so you can spot where it’s gone wrong. The issue is more one of there are millions of people and they get 10 minutes on how it’s supposed to work and then only 3 of them go into politics and learn how it actually works/doesn’t work. Democracy requires more than a one week chapter on civics, once a year. We all have to be mechanics, or at least be prepared to try.










  • Monkey paw’s finger curls: You can see them. They’re EVERYWHERE. People you thought you knew and loved have numbers greater than zero over their head. Despite your horror, you try to make use of the power to try to bring them to justice. No one believes you. You have the Cassandra’s curse of the status quo. ‘Steve? What are you talking about? He’d never do anything like that. Butter wouldn’t melt. You should probably shut your mouth before we get offended about what you said about our friend and kick the shit out of you. Know what I mean?’ You watch the news and see everyone who has a position of power over you and your loved ones has a non-zero number. You try to escape into fictional media but your favorite actors are non-zeroes, the author pictures in your favorite books show non-zeroes, the album sleeves of your favorite bands show non-zeroes.

    Knowledge can be a burden.