Even in your description of an “emotionally attentive” relationship, they have to be aware of what you’re doing for them or else how will then tell you that you’re wrong? Can it only ever be wrong if the person being acted for detects it, regardless of whether they dislike it?
Hypothetical: “You’ve been wanting to get stronger, so I’ve been secretly feeding you HGH. It’s what you’ve wanted so I was doing what I thought best to help you.”
All relationships require consent. Trying to reframe “getting consent and confirmation about your partner’s wants and boundaries” as some sort of “anxious pestering” or needling is incredibly strange to me. As you get to know them, you don’t have to check as often as you come to understand them but they should still be aware of what you’re doing.
And do you realize what you’re doing here is placing yourself as the standard to debate down at other positions, while presenting your anecdotes as relationship defaults?
Even in your description of an “emotionally attentive” relationship, they have to be aware of what you’re doing for them or else how will then tell you that you’re wrong? Can it only ever be wrong if the person being acted for detects it, regardless of whether they dislike it?
Hypothetical: “You’ve been wanting to get stronger, so I’ve been secretly feeding you HGH. It’s what you’ve wanted so I was doing what I thought best to help you.”
All relationships require consent. Trying to reframe “getting consent and confirmation about your partner’s wants and boundaries” as some sort of “anxious pestering” or needling is incredibly strange to me. As you get to know them, you don’t have to check as often as you come to understand them but they should still be aware of what you’re doing.
And do you realize what you’re doing here is placing yourself as the standard to debate down at other positions, while presenting your anecdotes as relationship defaults?