I sand the surface with 220 grit then apply two coats of acrylic enamel. While the paint is still wet, pock the surface in random locations with a blunted nail and score here and there with a dull screwdriver. When dry, I coat with a thinned down acrylic matte black then wipe with damp rag to smear into cracks and expose the color. Finish with a good polyurethane.

You probably never heard of it, but I shitpost on this obscure technology forum called Lemonworld or something on things I would never admit to in public.

It’s great, I’m something of a celebrity over there.

I remember that despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage. I think of it as the pumpkins’ version of the serenity prayer.

Laughter helps a lot. But if I’m consuming a ton of media, it’s sometimes better to just take a break and drink water while doing nothing else. I also have mantras about life like: “if I have my family, I’m ok”, “home can be anywhere”, “nothing in life is more important that food, shelter, water”, etc. Sometimes I worry about bills, future costs, etc. But worrying doesn’t always make it easier. A little bit of worry keeps me from ignoring finances all together. But too much worry isn’t helping. If you can free yourself from worrying about money, you’d be surprised how much weight gets lifted. I’m privileged because I have family and friends that I love. If I ever hit hard times, I know I have a home with them. Reminding myself of that keeps me from staying up all night with worry.

Fuck if I know. Closest I can think of is being alone.

…you guys destress?

I used to scream at passing trains, they didn’t seem to mind. But now none of them come around.

A video game where you and a rotating groups of strangers each pretend you’re cars that are playing soccer.

Hot tub:

Day Z with a friend till I hate everything about every thing. And therapy twice a month.

Wanking.

Edible (currently Drops cranberry) and a beer (currently Rogue honey kolsch)

Play a game (currently co-op Stardew Valley with the wife)

Cooking

Varies on where I’m at. One thing I can do no matter where I happen to be is allow my body to lose its tension. This is a learned skill. Focus your mind on preferably a major muscle to start, and just will it to begin relaxing. I like imagining I’m becoming more liquid and that the stress I’m holding is draining away. It’s a lighter, though similar, feeling you get when your body is just exhausted and you lay down.

This is a part of a series of coping mechanisms I’ll choose from when my anxiety begins to peak.

It depends.

If I am anxious or upset, vigorous exercise works best. Exhausting my body settles my mind.

If I am burned out from work but can’t relax, a drink on the porch with my husband helps to unwind.

If I cannot sleep, yin yoga is the best. Slow cold yoga with lots of forward folding.