MJ calls what happened to her in Zion national park “small ‘T’ trauma”. She knows women have experienced worse from their partners. But she still feels the anger of being left behind on a hike by her now ex. “It brings up stuff in my body that maybe I have not cleared out yet,” she said.
Five years ago, MJ and a new partner – he was not exactly her boyfriend, and the pair were not exclusive – traveled from Los Angeles to Utah for an adventure getaway. MJ, who is 38 and works in PR, was looking forward to exploring Zion’s striking scenery; its vast sandstone canyon and pristine wading trails were on the list. But on the morning of their big hike, MJ was not feeling well. She could not shake the feeling that something was “off”; indeed, MJ would learn on this trip that her partner was seeing other women.
As they made their way up Angel’s Landing, MJ’s partner started walking faster than her. “I could tell it was getting on his nerves that I was slow,” she said. “I was like, ‘Fuck it, just go ahead of me.’” He did without hesitation.
When she caught up at the top of the mountain, they took a picture together. Then her partner hiked down the mountain with a woman he had met on the way up, leaving MJ to finish by herself. They broke up shortly after that trip. (MJ asked to be referred to by her initials for the sake of speaking openly about a past relationship.)
Last month, MJ opened TikTok and heard the phrase “alpine divorce”, a label she now attaches to her experience in Zion.
You seem to be making a lot of assumptions there.
No, I just read the article…
What app/frontend do you use? It seems most people are missing the feature to open the source to read.
Yeah that situation seemed defensible on his part. But then the article comes in and outright says that in a lot of these cases it’s a failure of communication where the men aren’t thinking about it like that and in hindsight realized that they’d made a mistake.
That all said, I find it difficult to be sympathetic to these guys as someone who likes to hike with her wife. Even if I was annoyed she wasn’t able to keep up with me I can’t imagine ditching her even if she told me to. When I go hiking with someone or a group one of the major rules is that you never leave the weakest hiker alone unless it’s an emergency. You stick together and enjoy each other’s company
Wife is quite a different magnitude of commitment, in comparison to a non-exclusive non-girlfriend partner.
So like, some lady I’m on an early date with? Yeah no different in general rule. If I take you into a situation that you aren’t individually comfortable in I’m an asshole for ditching you there alone, even if we decide we hate each other in the meantime
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If they say you can go on ahead, it depends how well you know the other person.
The people I hike with, if they say that to me, I take them at their word. Maybe they would feel happier and more relaxed, if they hike at their own pace. It’s not abandonment, It is communication.
Some people get really anxious if they don’t go for the summit or objective right away and some people like me prefer to go more slowly and take their time. It doesn’t make sense to me to force both people into a compromise if you’d be happier walking your own hike.
If somebody said it and didn’t mean it, that’s something different. Or maybe they meant it, but they’re inexperienced, and would regret actually being left to hike on their own. That’s also something different.
One thing that you never do though is to hike past a trail juncture without waiting for your partner to catch up. But I guess even then, if you’ve been on the same hike multiple times and you have a plan for where you’re going to meet back up, even that is okay.
Depends on the hike’s safety.
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What? No it isn’t. This isn’t about personal relationships, it’s about responsibility during a dangerous hike.
By the way: this particular hike is very very very safe.
No question. But on the spectrum of basic decency, the minimum you owe to another group member from the get-go is as @[email protected] laid out; you stick together.
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As far as I know, that particular hike is very popular and very very safe though
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Everything has a possibility for danger though, even staying home.
The most dangerous thing they did that day was driving to and from the hike.
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Feel free to elaborate. Voyager let’s you read the article, in case you need it.
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OK, so the bit where the poster says “sounds like” and not “he stated for the article” is the bit you see as not substantiated by the article? Everything else is accurate, except the bit were the poster uses a euphemism for “this is something that seems to me without explicit confirmation”. Had op said that as a fact, and with more examples, you would have a point. But as is… Nah
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Wow talk about making things up.
Were there any other assumptions?
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How dare you!
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Both her and the author thought it was important to note that it was gasp a woman that he talked to.
There’s a logical implication for why they both thought that was important enough to be included when retelling the story.
Saying that someone’s implication might not be true isn’t the same as making an assumption.
It’s literally the opposite…
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So then it’s not a big deal he talked to someone else after his date told him to leave her?
And he’s a good guy for ensuring she made it safely to the top before returning?
Like, what exactly do you think that guy did wrong then?
Because logically I have zero idea what you’re doing.
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A woman told her date to leave her…
And you think the man should have refused her request, and pestered her anyways while in an isolated area with no one else around…
Don’t even have to put yourself in a man’s shoes, or even another woman’s. Imagine you told a man to leave you in that situation and he said “no” and refused you’re valid request to be left alone.
How would you feel, in your own shoes.
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With a male bias. Are you a misogynist by chance?
Are you a misandress, by chance?
maybe they’re just a man…