• 6 Posts
  • 126 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: August 15th, 2024

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  • If you are confident you can be a bit embarrassing and people just like you more for it. You are open, unique, a bit quirky and cute. They laugh with you, not at you. At work people lower their guards around you and you get people to deliver quality and get shit done. Being well liked and often right is a killer combo in the engineering world.

    Embrace the cringe, so that the cringe just becomes embarrassing, then it becomes good times and team building.







  • Kudos for trying to stay in the marriage. Not because of the oath, but for yourself. I can imagine that the hurt must have been immense and that the temptation to leave and start fresh was big.

    When I was younger this was black and white for me. As I have grown older I have realized that life is not that simple. I have been fortunate enough to not experience this myself, but after a relationship for 11 years I can understand why people stay after cheating.

    It’s so easy for someone to say that it is black and white on social media. You see it all the time with all sorts of things related to relationships and human behaviour.

    Having your perspective in this is really valuable, thanks for sharing.


  • If you want out of the marriage, then this is the time. No point in working on a marriage you don’t want.

    If you want to stay then:

    Couples counselling. Seriously. It is not cheap, but it’s a lot cheaper than a divorce. It also resolves unhealthy tension and issues in the relationship. You might even get out of it with a lot better marriage than before you cheated.

    Do that for a long time. Show that you care by taking initiative, and resolve this with a counsellor and your spouse.

    I also believe it is possible to regain trust, and to forgive.

    You did a bad thing, but don’t let it define you. Now you got to set it right, show her that you actually care about her. Do the hard work and make the relationship stronger than ever.

    You should not tell anyone you cheated, if your wife does, then you have to accept that. She might feel that this affects her honor and standing amongst other people. So let her decide if people should know or not.

    Anyways, good luck! Be patient and be kind. You can do it! 👍


  • Logically I am a determinist and a nihilist. It’s the only thing that makes sense to me.

    But I can’t live life like that. Life is lived through feelings and it feels like I have free will. So I feel meaning by contributing positively and that my choices in life matter.

    So, I contribute, try to do good, be helpful and nice to people, and also fulfill some hedonistic desires such as good food, lovemaking, shows, etc.


  • I don’t get why people support the death penalty in certain cases. It is never fair, moral or ethical.

    This man did something absolutely horrible, but not close, not even by a factor of ten, to what the Norwegian terrorist Anders Behring Breivik did.

    In Norway we imprisoned him, probably for life, but we don’t kill him. We make sure he has a life that is reasonably comfortable inside prison. Because we are better than him. All life has value. Even his. We spend the miniscule amount of money is to provide him a decent life within confinement.

    Recently a person was found innocent after spending about 20 years in prison for rape and killing two children. He would have been dead if we had capitol punishment in Norway.

    Even if he seems lost completely and outside the possibility of rehabilitation, we give everyone a somewhat worthy life.

    There are individualistic and collective ways of looking at this. Did society fail these people? Why did they become this way? Or was this destined to happened, because they are in some way inherently evil. If society failed in some way, then they at least deserve the minimum of a reasonably comfortable life in prison.

    Because it is always partly a failing of society, true justice is never death.


  • I guess it depends on the ones in power. There is a theoretical possibility that the ones in power acts altruistically for the good of the people.

    History however has proven totalitarian countries as brutal regimes, before it inevitablably collapses.

    One of the reasons it can’t be for the good of the people is that it needs to pay supporters a lot more.

    If you are a dictator, you have to constantly bribe your supporters (military, oligarchs etc). If you don’t, they will replace you with another dictator that will. So the system will inherently be corrupt and not to the benefit of the people.

    Any actions that benefit the people comes from a fear of riots and revolution. In other words it’s a delicate balancing act.

    Things might be different now and in the future due to more advanced surveillance, personalized propaganda, drones and robotics. Different in that it can be more oppressive than previously.