Obnoxious ads work to make me put a company on my “shit list” so I never buy from them. I’ve already got loads of places I refuse to shop from, so it’s nothing to me to add another.

I have a coworker who has ground rules like that for her kids. She says they’re allowed to swear around her, provided that it isn’t excessive. However, she instills boundaries on it. No swearing at school, with extended family (who might disagree with her choices), and some other rules. She emphasizes that the context is important, and as long as the kids respect those rules, they won’t be in trouble for it.

Sometimes I debate on making a comment, and sometimes I simply don’t have the energy to complete one. But sometimes, I think, “every comment grows Lemmy a little bit more” and decide, fuck it, I’ll say something. People might like it, people might not like it, but you never know what can grow from such a little spark.

I appreciate Lemmy in this regard. We live in a world with many voices trying to drown out each other for a bit of public attention. It’s enough to make some people think their own thoughts aren’t worthy and to stay silent, discounting their potential contributions. Having a platform that’s low-stakes, where people aren’t chasing internet fame, gives many of us an opportunity to express ourselves for the sake of expressing ourselves. Having this outlet is vital for many of us. I’m glad to be a part of this community, and it is truly a community. I have no idea if anyone recognizes me, but I definitely recognize other frequent commenters. It’s almost like we’re neighbors, not in physical proximity, but with a shared gathering space to meet and share our thoughts.

And I love that.

And here I figured the popularity of online porn made most people ambidextrous masturbators. I mean, if a righty uses a mouse in their right hand…

I’m pretty sure the only posts I’ve put on Facebook in the past five years are all a version of, “Hey, I’m just checking in so y’all know I’m still alive.” I haven’t updated my personal information on there in about a decade.

I never thought I’d say this, but going to work actually makes me happy. I work with autistic and disabled children, and man, they give me life. Helping them learn and grow, seeing them pick up and apply new skills, hearing their unique observations, and witnessing their creativity all bring joy to my day.

I’m currently waiting for my first learner of the day to arrive, and I know that when he gets here he’ll be making the most joyful squeals as he plays with his favorite ball. His smile is like caffeine mixed with sunshine, energizing me every morning even on the hardest days.

Don’t get me wrong, this job has its challenges, but the fulfillment I get from working with this population is immeasurable. It took many years of crappy jobs with crappy management before I got here, and I’m glad to say I think I finally found the job where I belong.

A couple things.

First, some languages do have authorities that bound their language by rules. For example, the Académie Française and the Real Academia Española, which work for French and Spanish, respectively. English is an exception, which uses common usage rather than strict “definitions.” So while English is free to change with speakers, some languages do have official groups that make rules about their use.

Second, those who dislike “female” (when used as a noun describing female humans, specifically) aren’t turning the word into a pejorative - they are merely reporting that their experience with the word, when used in that way, expresses derogatory sentiments. The critics aren’t turning it into a “bad word,” the people who use “female” to describe women and girls are already using it to “otherize” and dehumanize half the population. To ignore the way that effect makes women and girls feel, even though they’re the ones being directly affected by such usage, is quite dismissive. I don’t want to throw around the word “mansplaining” willy nilly, but if you’re a man who goes around explaining to women that they shouldn’t be offended by a term that impacts them, but which you have no personal stake in, it might be wise to step back and listen to their experiences.

It also frustrates me how restaurants in international airports only follow the local “meal schedule.” If everyone were in the same timezone all day, then okay, I can see why you’d only offer breakfast before 10am. But that isn’t the case in an international airport. Why are all the dinner places closed? (Rhetorical question - I know the answer is “$$$”)

But if you’ve been flying for hours, jetlagged from changing timezones, and you still need to catch a connecting flight, you may be ready for dinner/supper. It sucks when you want a more substantial meal, but the only options are eggy breakfast sandwiches and doughnuts.

It just makes more sense to offer options for any time of day in a place that’s open 24 hours, where you know the people you intend to serve will be on different meal schedules from what the locals might follow.

And that includes allowing people to buy/drink beer. But alas, those damn blue laws supersede all of that.

This is a good call and it’s refreshing to see a police chief trying to enforce something sensible.

At the same time, I don’t have high hopes of US police being able to correctly identify and react to “unlawful force.” They sure don’t stop themselves or their colleagues when they use it against a minority, but they’re expected to intervene when ICE does it?

My car’s radio busted last year. Instead of replacing it with a modern touchscreen, or paying $3000 for a manufacturer replacement, I’ve simply gone without it. Thing is, the radio includes the back-up camera screen. It also contains the controls to the car’s clock. So half the year the time is off by an hour, and I’ve gotten used to backing up my car “the old fashioned way.”

Thankfully, none of these are issues I can’t tolerate. But it does make me wonder what would’ve happened if I’d had a newer car. If so many functions can rely on a radio, how many more functions might somebody get screwed out of if this same issue were to happen in a newer vehicle?

I get that, for my parents’ generation at least. But I’m the weirdo autistic chick that lives multiple “alternative lifestyles” simultaneously.

I don’t go to the church I was baptized in, because I’m atheist. I don’t eat the food my culture cooks, because I’m vegan. I’m a pansexual who practices polyamory. I don’t share my parents’ values, nor those of my ancestral culture.

Which is partly why I gel better with people who don’t share the “dominant” culture around us (in the US.) I get along with others who’ve been marginalized, who don’t “fit in,” who want to burn down capitalism have been on the “outside” for so long that we share a common bond through it. Most people I’ve dated have either been born in other countries and/or have disabilities. It makes sense for me, but from the outside it’s easy to imagine that my mom thinks I’m still “rebelling” somehow (while deep into my 30s.)

My mom refuses to admit that she’s racist.

Oh, but when I brought a black man home, she asked me afterwards, “Why do all your boyfriends have… a tan?”

Don’t worry, I let it out on her. I’m practically 100% Slavic if my brother’s DNA test is to be trusted (it lines up with the family tree I’ve got, so yeah.) I asked if she’d rather I marry a “nice Polish boy” that I have nothing in common with, like she did, like her sisters did, like her mother did. Because why should personal compatibility matter so long as our ancestries are the same?

She backed off and hasn’t made a peep about my “tan” partners ever since.

Last year I got a portable swinging camping chair from Costco. It’s the next best thing to a rocking chair, which itself is the next best thing to a hammock. It even has a cupholder (which doesn’t swing, so you don’t have to worry about your drink spilling.)

You never know what you might find.

Oof, yeah, same. There’s too much cringe.

I also can’t stand fight scenes. They’re way too intense. The best I can do is zone out when they happen and at the end ask whoever’s watching with me, “Who won?”

It’s sad how terms get co-opted. I get it’s part of the progression of language, but it still sucks.

I soak up the feelings of those around me, but it’s not some hippie woo-woo thing. I don’t think it’s “special,” just uncontrollable empathy. I love watching game shows because I take in the excitement and happiness of the crowd/players. On the flip side, if I see someone crying, it’s hard to stay neutral, because I feel their pain without trying to.

Is it a normal human reaction? Absolutely. Do most people experience it as strongly as I do? I have no evidence either way. It could be more extreme for me, but it could also be normal - just boiling down to differences in emotional regulation.

Either way, I guess I’ll be using the old, unambiguous term “empathic.” It still works, after all, and doesn’t carry the baggage of the newer term.

That still doesn’t make sense. Women still have to pay the same costs of living. We’re all in the same boat, trying to survive on the scraps the capitalists offer us.

I don’t have a magic “vagina pass” that makes my wage higher or rent more affordable. If I were running away from a psycho, I’d still have to somehow make ends meet while also dealing with hostile people. That’s where I get confused. Pride is one thing, but when your ability to live in society is hanging from a late-stage capitalist thread, pride is no longer the primary driver - survival itself is. Man, woman, non-binary, we’re all struggling in this same way.

How is any of that exclusive to men?

Though I agree it is somewhat of a privilege to have the time and security it takes to allow for self-actualization, that’s a struggle that a lot of us have to deal with, regardless of sex, gender, or sexual orientation.

That’s absolutely wild. Before my state started selling legal weed, I would sometimes take trips to Massachusetts to buy enough to last me for months.

The one thing I never did on those drives? Speed.

I figured I was already technically breaking the law by carrying so much weed across non-legal states. To get pulled over for speeding could’ve led to massive trouble. Why put a target on my car (beyond already having an out-of-state license plate)?

I went the other way - I meticulously watched for speed limit changes and set my cruise control accordingly, so it would be one fewer thing to worry about. When possible, I drove so there’d be a car some distance in front of me, but still within my view. That way, if there was a cop up ahead, I’d see the other car slow down first and it would give me a heads up.

Adding more distractions and driving more erratically when you’re already breaking one law is a really stupid way to get caught.

You’re free to re-post the quote with the swears put back in.

Like how when my brother and I hear a “radio edit” song that censors swears, we sing the swear louder than all the other words, making up for their absence.

Sure, I’ll just ask my partners to strip down to their skeletons real quick. Brb