But that’s not an argument for making testing default. Men in such relationships can accept the possibility that the kid isn’t theirs. Or request testing if it’s important to them. This is the parents responsibility and your example is an outlier.
My point was that if the test is mandatory, or even an opt-out rather than opt-in, it creates a culture where the underlying thought is that women on average can’t be trusted to name the biological father.
I did not… forget this? But I guess you’re talking to the general “you” and not me personally?
Best thing for a child by far is to be wanted and raised with love. Forcing a woman to bear a child they don’t want is cruel to both.
Look, I’m not gonna pretend this isn’t a messy, painful topic, because it is. And I get why it pisses people off. Nobody wants to be on the hook for 18 years of child support for a kid that isn’t theirs. That’s a totally reasonable thing to be mad about. Hell, I’d be mad too. Being tricked into that is a violation. And yeah, the legal system doesn’t always handle it well. Sometimes it feels like men get the short stick here, and I’m not gonna sit here and tell you that’s not true, because in some cases, it absolutely is. Worth noting though that women on the other hand get the short stick in many other fields, and we’ll never get absolute equality anyway. And certain people dismissing this topic with just “think of the children” is unhelpful. It dismisses real pain and hands over the conversation to the worst-faith actors, who are more than happy to fill the void with rage and simplification.
The “mandatory paternity tests” idea might sound nice and simple solution on the surface. I get the appeal. Rational, factual, reliable. But think about what that actually means. You’re saying every woman who gives birth should automatically be treated like a potential liar. Every kid starts life under a cloud of suspicion. That’s not just a legal change; that’s a cultural one. Marriage is a choice two adults make, with full awareness of what they’re signing up for. Ideally anyway. But a newborn doesn’t get that choice. They don’t get to opt out of the suspicion or the stigma. They just inherit it.
While still not fair towards the guy, I think perhaps it would be better to keep the system as is BUT introduce an additional step where if a child is found to be the result of infidelity, the woman is obligated to pay damages to the man after the child turns 18 (or perishes). Yes, they guy will have to bitterly pay for the kid that isn’t theirs but the woman won’t get away with it scot free. Once the kid is secured, the woman will pay back every penny. Yes, it’s still painful for the guy but at least it would a bit more fair. And yes there are million details and whatabouts but I think it’s a step into the right direction.
The pull out method is not reliable, don’t gamble on it. Don’t trust guys who gamble on it.
https://www.webmd.com/sex/birth-control/pull-out-withdrawal
Please use protection. If you’re not prepared for the possibility of a child, take plan B now, rather than have an abortion later.
Consider contraceptive pill or an IUD, but for all random sex you really should be using a condom to protect against Sexually Transmitted Diseases.
Please practice sex responsibly. If you can’t, you definitely do not have the capacity to deal with the responsibility of a child.
Preferably watch this before the next time you even think about having sex: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rO9pOJbvkEA&list=PL8dPuuaLjXtMweg6Yx9MHP01n_yUyaf9H