If you don’t agree with the concept of good or bad people, you dont have to answer just down vote. If you think a person is good or bad based on where they were born and live you don’t have to answer just down vote.
Empathy
Yep. Real fucking easy answer for me.
If someone tells you a story about how they lost their dog, if that person tries to one-up them, dismiss them, or hurts them… They’re a bad person. No negotiation.
What if someone tells you a story of how they lost their spider?
I would be sad. I’m an arachnophobe, but Spiders are magnificent.
Spider warning
It’s all about empathy. If they lack empathy or kindness then fuck them. I don’t want them in my life and I prefer not to interact with them.
Thats fair
One of my tests as I’ve grown older is whether or not that person is capable of treating someone else’s children as their own.
Both my father and step father did, so I didn’t realize how rare of an attribute this is, nor did I realize how evil not having this attribute can make some seemingly good people behave.
Through their actions.
Most people are good. Most people forget to be kind to others sometimes.
Some people forget to be kind to others more. I kinda don’t like that.
Some people need to cause others discomfort to feel like they are in control of their lives. I dislike that.
Some people feel that they have the right to or even should cause others discomfort because they have some kind of birthright granted by their religion, how aggressive their ancestors were, or some perception that they’ve worked harder than others. I feel that such people should either be rigorously reeducated or in some way removed from access to other humans entirely.
Their ability to return their shopping cart to the corral
Small addition: while nobody is watching. Or at least they think nobody is watching.
Cart NARCS will forever live in my mind rent free
The true litmus test.
two things.
- how they treat other people
- what they don’t say
first one is pretty easy. don’t treat other people like pieces of shit, or you’re a piece of shit.
second one, when they see something happening that is wrong and do nothing. you’re a piece of shit.
The book “Sapiens” does a good job framing this. Humans are social creatures. Our social groups define their own norms, mores, values, etc. To be “good” is to align with those values. Clashes happen when groups with vastly different values interact. The old adage “if you were born where they were born, and you were raised how they were raised, then you would believe what they believe” applies here, even though this isn’t always true.
The Internet makes this problem more stark. Our groups aren’t based on location anymore; our neighborhood, our school, our church. We can find our group(s) that align with and reinforce us any time we want. It’s also upset the typical way we define our values, and our society is struggling to catch up.
So long way of saying, good or bad relies on context and the values of those you’re close with.
But fuck people who don’t return their shopping cart. They’re just plain bad.
Removed by mod
Everybody has the capacity to be an asshole once in a while. To asshole is human.
But in general, people who go out of their way to stir shit up, or be an asshole/intentionally rude about something, then play the victim when they get called out for being an asshole. Waste of fucking space and energy. Just go live on a fucking island with all the other passive aggressive assholes.
are their actions based on how they benefit them?
I also find it important to consider what they think of as “benefitting themselves”.
If good vs bad is dependent upon their actions, then someone extremely selfish can be seen as “good”, just if they have enough ability to think long term and desire a future that would end up making them act “good”.
If good vs bad is dependent upon their thoughts, then good luck finding out what people think. What they say will be completely different from what they think and a lot of them just realise they can easily get away with contradicting themselves as long as they do so in front of someone powerless.
Heh. I assume everyone is a bad person unless they immensely prove that they aren’t. they can’t do lots of drugs, lead chaotic lives, be anti-intellectual, be a gossip, be greedy, a control freak, have an immoral job, use religion as a cudgel, have no integrity, be overly optimistic, have lots of kids, etc. etc.
Optimists can be cringe but do you really think it makes them bad people?
Heh, “Respect all, Suspect all.”
Thats a pretty cynical view but I get it.
I determine it by analyzing their attitude, behaviour, body language, their personal beliefs.
Reasonable
Their levels of empathy, their relationship with their own ego, and, similarly, their levels of selfishness / egotistic/ egocentric. That’s the core that drives, they’ll make decisions on who to betray from that core, with no care for others, they become quite dangerous to be around. That said something people are good at pretending they have empathy and aren’t egocentric, but if you wait and watch, pretend always has cracks to see through. And i don’t mean small moments of overwhelm. I mean, polar opposite behaviours that seem outside their morals, when not in an extreme emotion. You will usually see little things around the edges, and your instinct is to excuse it away, because it doesn’t fit the narrative, don’t do that bit. Little things around the edges might look like casually stealing, possibly just small things, sometimes even from friends, jealousy or a hatred for someone for no apparent reason other than they’re good at something the person in question is, too. Wanting a lot of attention, without giving anyone else room in the spotlight, or giving less and less room for others in the spotlight, until it’s all about them. Passing blame, it’s always someone elses fault, or excuses for everything they do that they feel are a reason to be able to do the poor behaviour, rather than taking responsibility, learning and growing. Unable to metabolise failure, at all. If you look up fixed and growth mindset, (Carol Dweck) narcissistic types, always have a fixed mindset. Where they’re Unable to utilise mistakes or failures to learn and grow, and believe that you are inherently born good at things or not, rather than practice at anything making you able to be an expert at something.
I cannot remember the reference right now, but it’s said that anyone can become “genius” level at something, if they just put 7 years of practice into it. “Bad” people, practice being like everyone else, they are very good at learning what you want to see, and mirroring that, for a time, it’s not something anyone can hold up for very long, but that said, I’ve seen it held up for a year, odd, at times.
If you wait, don’t get enmeshed with someone too quickly, they usually try to move fast to enmesh you, and remember that a lot of what you see in anyone around you, is what your brain imagines is there, you put a “persona” on people, all people. What’s in everyone is a complex mix of a different set of morals, and emotional maturity, privilege and perspective of the world that’s shaped by their unique upbringing, surroundings and environment. Even two siblings can have very different upbringing, surroundings and environment. And everyone has bad and good, in them. What you need to assess is the harm they could or do cause you and what you need to do to keep safe, keeping in mind that psychological, emotional and verbal abuse, are as harmful as physical abuse. And then decide what level of involvement is safe for you.
By how they talk about people who aren’t part of the conversation. Someone focuses a lot on heaping contempt on former coworkers and romantic partners, it’s a bad sign.
Interesting take, I like that.
