I grew up in a rural environment in the 90s and early 2000s where it was perfectly normal to use “gay” with a negative connotation. The kind of environment where homosexuality was weird and every guy 13+ had to constantly prove he wasn’t gay or get angry getting called so.
I was fortunate enough to move away from there and meet new people and ideas.
I remember one turning point specifically. I was chatting with some people and used “gay” to describe some product I didn’t like, without thinking about it all, no ill intent. Later one of the guys took me aside and asked me if I realised I said that while a gay friend was standing right by. It couldn’t give a good answer in that moment but it gave me something to think about and I apologized later. He took it like a champ and I’m much more conscious about language since.
We probably lived in similar areas! Exact same scenario here.
Google C++ coding styleguide
The one that had the biggest effect on me was getting past the gay=bad nonsense that I was raised with. Which allowed me to come out to my wife as bisexual a while back.
Sex equals bad.
Grew up believing I’m a horrible sex/porn addict, tried a lot of things to go “cold turkey” on it. This all while being “hornier” than the average person, although not to a “chronic hypersexual” degree (do have a 4 hour “marathon” a few times a year, especially during summer for some reason).
Nowadays I don’t have the dreaded “post nut clarity”. Even managed to accept my bisexuality over time.
The most obvious one that comes to mind is “never questioning Capitalism”
Same but religion.
I started questioning it at maybe 10 or so and was confused why people 6 times my age believed in obvious bullshit used to control women and poor people.
But surely the market would never favor the most antisocial actors??? How could it ever prefer short term gains over long term stability?
Trend following. Listening to subtle suggestions. For better or for worse, and there are definite tangible consequences for not doing so. But at least when I do something right I get to feel like it came from within me and wasn’t something I was just doing for approval from someone who couldn’t be bothered to communicate their expectations out loud.
Car culture. The idea that driving is enjoyable and physical exertion is the curse of the devil, that parking should always be free, that most people have to drive because everything is far away and there’s no way it could ever be different, and that it would all work out if we just had one more lane.
I think physical movement is obviously very good, but I do enjoy wrenching and grassroots Motorsports. I meet a lot of friends doing it and it gets me out of the house. There’s really nothing mechanical left in today’s world since everything else is microscopic electronics.
But I’m like .00001% of the car population, and I only drive small cars over 15 years old lol. I think everyone deserves public transport if they want it.
Only recently crossed that bridge. Now I dread driving, having to deal with rush hour traffic, finding parking spots, and all the associated stress.
Public transportation also has issues, but you can use the time to listen to some music, podcasts, audiobooks, online courses, books…
Believing my nation was the best in the world. The grade school programming with the national anthem and all that shit was real in the US. Nah, fuck patriotism, this place is a collapsing fascist clusterfuck.
Bigotry in general
I hear that bigotry is bad. Good job
I grew up in a very religious, rural part of the country (US) and in a time when sexism and racism were the norm. I’m now an atheist and now recognize how damaging all of that is to the individuals it harms and to society as a whole.
Lots of people who are atheistic and urban are just as sexist and racist. They just don’t talk about it quite the same way.
I live in the northeast. Racism here isn’t slurs or loud talking about how bad people are. Racism here is calling the cops because there is a single black guy minding his business smoking in the park and it makes you scared. It’s passive aggressive bullshit.
I’d agree that racism and sexism are separate from religion and I didn’t intend to suggest that religion is the source of racism or sexism. It runs much deeper than that with sexism and racism being expressed in different ways by both religious and non-religious alike. That said, where and when I grew up they were all intertwined with and reinforced by religion. So when I threw off the yoke of religion it was easier, for me at least, to recognize the many small and large injustices being committed by me those around me because that was our “culture”.
In 2020 I thought there was going to be a revolutionary change. It ended up getting worse. It feels like the the later 90- early 00s.
Progress requires maintenance.
I’m old enough that I couldn’t even enumerate all the things. Let’s just say racism, homophobia, transphobia, nationalism, toxic masculinity, feminism, capitalism…
Oh and the idea that Republicans are more fiscally responsible and have a more pragmatic approach to foreign policy.
I honestly can’t think of any part of my upbringing that has held up to scrutiny. I wouldn’t say I’ve fully overcome all of it but I recognize it was all garbage.
I guess I could say religion. I went through the motions when I was much younger, but it never took even then. I’ve always thought religion is bullshit.
I don’t shave my armpits anymore. After a year or so, I even started liking my armpit hairs.
Who would have thought being an honest natural human being would be good!?
At some point I realized that when I look at the life of an average person, it’s not something I want for myself. So I probably shouldn’t model my life after theirs and then expect different results.
Define average?
300k mortage, car payment, two kids, a dog, job that they hate, week long vacation abroad once a year etc.
in America you’d have to be in the top 20% of the income bracket to afford that lifestyle, and in high cost areas, the top 10%.
Hating people by default for being different than me.
I managed to stop calling all women “ma’am”, even though I still think that’s more polite but whatever
It’s way more polite, and actually quite sweet.
