Make it a good one.
Shoot Arch Duke Ferdinand. Few people even now about it today, but he was subject to a horribly mangled assassination attempt that many scholars belive would have set off a major war in Europe had he died.
Holy crap it took way too long for me to realise what you’re doing
Go back in time and do something to prevent Vasily Aleksandrovich Arkhipov from becoming the Executive Officer on the B-59 Soviet nuclear sub in October 1962. He’s the guy who talked the Captain and the Political Officer out of launching the nukes when they thought they were being attacked by the US Navy during the Cuban Missile Crisis. His persuasiveness is generally considered to have avoided WWIII from starting then.
He probably literally saved the world, he should really be talked about more
The scary part is, he’s not the only one
You could also flip the switch that was literally the only thing keeping the nuke from exploding over North Carolina in the Goldsboro incident.
Nuke going off over US soil at the height of the cold war could very well have started everyone firing.
You’re going to pretend we’re not on that timeline right now? I see your play, time traveller.
He did it.
The crazy son of a bitch did it.
Procrastinate, the world is going down the drain just fine without my help.
Can I appear anywhere? Pop into white house or Kremlin during the Cuban missile crisis and say: I’m from the future, you must attack, or… Then travel back to the future without finishing the sentence.
Go to back to the big bang. You presence alone will butterfly effect the earth out of existence.
I hate the ‘hate’ part (pardon the pun) of the question.
I’d rather go back in time and get Jesus and bring him back here so that he can go all ‘temple money changers’ on today’s MAGA Christians asses, give them a proper yelling to.
You think they’d listen to a random brown dude who couldn’t speak English?
If there’s a jesus with powers in the first place, he could do the holy spirit thing that happened after his death where the apostles proselytized by speaking in languages they (previously) couldn’t to people who couldn’t understand the native tongue.
Something tells me that if Jesus was ‘Jesussy’ enough, that they’d listen to him, regardless of skin color.
I genuinely doubt it. And if he was proven to be truly Jesus and kept saying that then US Christians would either say “He doesn’t understand the modern world” or reject him for some other contrived reason (i.e. he was corrupted by modernity, the machine caused him to lose his connection to God, etc…)
Christians are full of hate because they love hate.
Jesus-y? Or Jesussy? Those seem different.
Yeah, no way the majority of Christians would instead opt to form schismatic sects, or simply adopt church doctrine decrying the false prophet of Brown Jesus.
I want to watch this series.
Jesus the time traveler tells off assholes.
The comedy series “Black Jesus” has some of that vibe, if I recall.
And yeah, it’s great.
I want to watch this series.
Jesus the time traveler tells off assholes.
I’m not religious by nature, but yeah, definitely would sub for that series, for sure.
I legit popped this thread open to type
ohhh I wish I wish I hadn’t killed that fish…
Buy a cheap pistol, go back in time, and shoot Gutenberg.
We’d still be living in medieval times.
I support this one.
My name is Friedrich Trump (aka Frederick Trump) and I already did that and even had a nice hump.
I really like this question. So: rather than killing Hitler, what if, instead, you killed Stalin? Was it inevitable that a strongman dictator would have taken over, and ruined the potential of communism? I guess we have evidence that the answer is “yes,” in the form of Mao, but weren’t the Chinese communist party(s) greatly influenced by the Soviet model? What if Russia had, instead, developed a more democratic system of government - was it possible, and couldn’t it have affected how China’s developed? But, maybe it is always inevitable that dictators emerge from internal revolutions like this.
Here’s another scenario: what if you stopped Oswald, and prevented Kennedy from being assassinated? He was popular, and likely to win a second term. What would 4 (~5) more years of Kennedy look like?
My favorite version of “killing Hitler” is instead of murder, blackmail the school dean so Hitler gets admitted to art school. Goodbye genocidal tyrant, hello moderately successful landscape painter!
Check out the show 11.22.63 on Hulu. Exactly about preventing the Kennedy assassination and the fallout from that choice. Seriously good!
Thanks for the suggestion! I’ll watch it.
Based on the novel with the same name, by Stephen King. So that’s another option.
Well current events lead me to believe that allowing the orange turd to live would do the job nicely so in the spirit of laziness I’d do absolutely nothing.
Wait until I’m about to die, then go back to when the first land-dwelling animals first started coming ashore. I’d bring a bunch of cockroaches with me and then I’d die there. Either the roaches or my decaying corpse will hopefully cause enough change to the timeline that humanity never develops in the first place.
I think that’s the most I could screw over the (human) world.
Land the time machine on top of the first animal to walk on land. Don’t even have to get out of the machine.
Go punt kick the first fish back into the ocean as it tries to waddle it’s fat ass out of the water.
I know that’s not how evolution works but I can dream… Life would likely be vastly different given such a long period of time with something like that changing either way.
